This came to me by means of a challenge from my high school librarian and book club leader. She tagged me in a post with hers and passed it on to me because I was one of the more active students in the book club all those years ago. We’ve kept in touch via Facebook and this wasn’t the first time she’s tagged me in something relating to reading or books.
I would like to note these are my most influential books at the moment. A huge part of living your life is evolving and as I evolve I am sure this list will alter.
1: Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill. It’s my favorite book but I love rock stars, music and ghosts and this little gem combines all three.
2: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Do I really need to explain?
3: Richard III by William Shakespeare. No, not a book but I read it in a book. It’s all about the loopholes. As an admitted Shakespeare nerd, I think Richard III is my favorite mostly because of the opening soliloquy and Richard’s ability to be a silver-tongued master manipulator.
4: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. A classic and starts with one of my all-time favorite hooks, “It was a pleasure to burn.” I know own a copy printed in the sixties as part of my antique book collection.
5: Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice. My love of vampires is border line obsessive and they way I turned out is mostly because of Anne Rice’s works. This one is the first really “adult” (by that I mean a huge book with small print and lots of big words for an 11 year-old) I read.
6: Wake by Lisa McMann. In a time when supernatural storylines were beginning to cross into the territory of annoying, Wake became one of those books you remember because it was just different and refreshing.
7: The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling. I can’t choose just one book. This series truly defined my generation and as a self-proclaimed Potterhead I was no exception. These books got me back reading and heighted my love for magic.
8: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson. I’ve never read such an intricate and detailed mystery that catches you off guard more than once and leaves you running for the next book in the series. And I’ve always been able to identify with the leading lady, Lisbeth, because of how different she is.
9: Mightier than the Sword: How the News Media Have Shaped American History by Roger Streitmatter. This was supposed to be a boring “textbook” for one of Jack Lessenberry’s classes but it turned into one of the best books I’ve had to read for any class I’ve ever had.
10: Born on the Fourth of July by Ron Kovic. I had to read this one for one of my freshmen history classes. It was an honest portrayal of a boy growing up with stars in his eyes only for them to burst and fade when he was pushed into the reality of war.
I was raised in what I would call an average American home. My dad worked hard while my mom stayed at home and raised my older brother and I with our two dogs and two cats. We lived in a small town where half the population grew up together, attended church a few times a week and laughed together at school functions. All that was missing was the white picket fence.
Or so I thought.
I didn’t realize until middle school that my parents had never really put an emphasis on “God” or “Jesus.” I knew what church was and I knew the purpose of the Bible but I didn’t have an exposure to either. It was around that time in middle school when I also became aware of the prejudice many of the people in my small town had against people that were homosexual. In my household there was nothing wrong with who you were and my mother’s best friend was a gay man she had known since high school.
Looking back, I think part of this light-bulb of sorts can be attributed to early government classes where you learn the basics about the Constitution and what is written within it. Separation of church and state? No established religion? All men are created equal? Clearly some lawmakers were elected without anyone looking at their high school transcripts to see the big ol’ fail in their government and/or history classes.
“Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof”
Perhaps part of this line of thinking could be attributed to me being a newly Goth kid that listened to alternative rock too loudly and was stuck in a town full of people that seemed more fake than The Hills. I hated my classmates, most of my teachers and any sort of authority figure other than my parents. Pointing out the ways in which our government officials were failing at their jobs was like a game in my eyes.
And then I got older…and madder.
Not so much at all authority figures. I recognized a line drawn between government officials otherwise known as “the aisle” and I knew what it meant. I guess it was more or less my eyes opening to how aggravating it is to watch basic rights played with in front of my fellow human being’s eyes as if it were a game of solitaire except the computer is being paid for by the poor souls being toyed with.
Why am I any different then those people? I’m a straight woman which means one day I may fall in love with a man and we could get married but if my best friend from high school, who is bisexual, falls in love with a man he is not allowed to marry the love of his life.
Hm. Seems completely imbalanced.
A Gallup Poll showing the breakdown of religions in the United States in 2011
Fast-forward through high school a.k.a. some of the worst years for someone that’s “different” than what many people think is normal and enter my days at Wayne State University. The campus is diverse which is good and bad at the same time. Good because you get a mix of everyone; the really religious, the agnostic, the atheist, the black, the white, the yellow, the red, the young, the old and the list goes on. The bad because you see how some people were never taught how to be decent human beings and discrimination rears its’ ugly head. I cannot count how many times I’ve shook my head in shame at an atheist calling a Christian an idiot or a Christian telling an atheist they’re going to hell with the rest of the heathens. I cannot count how Bibles have been shoved into my hand or looks of disbelief that I didn’t want one when I did have the opportunity to deny the forceful gift.
“Religion and government will both exist in greater purity, the less they are mixed together.” – James Madison – (excerpt from a letter to Edward Livingston), July 10th, 1822.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand and that should be the beauty of the situation. I should not have to understand because we all have the right to believe what we want and to do so without worrying about someone stepping on our toes.
You may say I’m a dreamer and I might be the only one.
Too frequently do I see Tweets about this or that politician talking about being raised on the belief that marriage is between a man and a woman or how the family values must be protected therefore children should be in homes with a mother and a father.
Having a mother and father isn’t the most necessary thing in the world. Plenty of women raise children on their own without the help of a father figure. Abbie Goldberg, a psychologist at Clark University, told LiveScience that same-sex parents “tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because they chose to be parents.”
LiveScience also wrote:
“An October 2011 report by Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute found that, of gay and lesbian adoptions at more than 300 agencies, 10 percent of the kids placed were older than 6 — typically a very difficult age to adopt out. About 25 percent were older than 3. Sixty percent of gay and lesbian couples adopted across races, which is important given that minority children in the foster system tend to linger. More than half of the kids adopted by gays and lesbians had special needs.”
And yet some politicians believe they would be doing the thousands of children in the foster system a disservice if they allowed a same-sex couple to adopt them? With the amount of abuse and neglect that goes on in the foster system, any politician should be glad to see children getting the opportunity to live in a loving home.
As for protecting the sanctity of marriage and it being between one man and one woman? According to the American Psychological Association, by age 50, 90 percent of the population is married yet 40 to 50 percent divorce. What’s the point of protecting the sanctity of marriage if nearly half the population is destroying it anyway? One of the best documentaries I’ve seen was The Case Against 8 which showed the journey two same-sex couples took to take down Proposition 8 in California which banned same-sex marriage. It was beautiful and heart-breaking watching these couples have to fight for something that many take for granted.
With Indiana passing the religious freedom law, I found myself so many shades of angry I don’t even know where to start. I know by now many will think this is solely because of the effect this bill will have on the LGBTQ community which is partially true. It makes me angry knowing if I were going on a road trip with my bisexual friend to Chicago and stopped in Indiana for lunch at a small mom-and-pop restaurant he could be denied service because he is comfortable with who he is. Would I be denied too because I was a “straight ally?” Can I be refused services at any business in Indiana because I identify as Goth? As an atheist? As a human rights supporter? Where is this line truly drawn?
The Indianapolis Star’s front page reaction to the religious freedom law. *Obtained via Google Images
I’m not a Republican and I’m not a Democrat. To me, it’s important to look at a candidate’s track record and the type of campaign they run. Are they open minded and willing to work toward a free and equal future for all citizens instead of just one group? That is the question we should be asking ourselves when going to the polls.
With companies like Starbucks, Apple, PayPal, Yelp, the NBA and NASCAR publicly claiming disapproval of the law and some threatening to discontinue expansion in the state, the question is what type of damage will be caused economically? CNN reported on Indiana Gov. Mike Pence’s press conference about his attempt to clarify the bill and said he would “fix” the law due to “the smear that’s been leveled against this law.”
While he claims the law does not allow businesses to discriminate against any potential customer, when George Stephanopoulos asked for a yes or no if it was legal for a florist to deny business to a gay couple’s wedding Pence deflected and refused to give the yes or no Stephanopoulos was looking for.
“This is not about discrimination,” Pence told Stephanopoulos. “This is about protecting the religious liberty of every Hoosier of every faith and we’re going to continue to work our hearts out to clarify that to the people of Indiana and the people of this great country.”
Maybe it’s because I’m not religious but I don’t think Pence recognizes the harm this law could cause. Can an atheist florist legally reject doing business with a Catholic couple getting married? I fear this will cause damage on all sides of the spectrum and many people of many faiths will become bitter toward each other and their state government. If this law stands I’m curious what the next few years will look like in Indiana, especially how the economy will hold up.
“If, therefore, from the settlement of the Saxons to the introduction of Christianity among them, that system of religion could not be a part of the common law, because they were not yet Christians, and if, having their laws from that period to the close of the common law, we are all able to find among them no such act of adoption, we may safely affirm (though contradicted by all the judges and writers on earth) that Christianity neither is, nor ever was a part of the common law.” Thomas Jefferson (February 10, 1814 The Works of Thomas Jefferson Published by Order of Congress)
The biggest part of this whole fiasco, and yes I do feel that it has become a fiasco, is the question of why. Why do states feel the need to “fix” something that’s not broken. People have the freedom to pray to whom they like, practice as they wish and befriend as they please. I can’t see the good in a law that could give permission to close-minded individuals to discriminate against other people who are not like them be it religious beliefs, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc.
Signs showing support for anti-discrimination was visible all over the state. *Obtained via Google Images
The people I really feel bad for are the ones caught in the crosshairs of this situation. The business owners who would never turn away a soul no matter who or what they were. They are the ones that suffer because they live in a state now associated with “freedom to discriminate.”
I feel a slight change of pace is needed to explain my absence and offer comfort to those that have faced the same thing as I have in the last few months. What happened can be summed up in a single sentence.
My dog died.
An outtake from my senior pictures
What cannot be put into words is the grief that accompanies such a thing. Some people get it, others don’t. There are people in this world that view pets as laborers or there to serve a purpose and there are those that view them as a member of the family.
I was raised with the belief that your pets are valued additions to the family. We’ve loved all of our dogs with all our hearts, even our bulldog, Jackson, (who was a known psychopath), and we’ve spoiled them senselessly. It seems each one of our dogs has had a connection with one of the members of my family. My mom’s baby was Clyde, our boxer we lost in the early 2000s. My brother was distraught when we had to put Jackson down because he was barely functioning and never left his bed. My dad is attached to Kitty, our teacup yorkie. And me? My little Jules, our rescued shih tzu we had for a little over six years, was my best friend.
On November 11, 2014, I had to say goodbye.
We got Jules in 2008 as an accident of sorts. Before her, we had a two-dog rule. Jackson and Kitty were on good terms which was strange for our sausage-with-legs bulldog and our smaller than a high-heel yorkie.
My mother is the type to have everything meticulously planned, especially if it’s something we’ll be dealing with for a while. Jackson hadn’t been doing great. Bulldogs are considered lucky if they make it to eight and he was just passed seven. So my mom decided it was time to start thinking about what type of dog we wanted next. She knew she wanted to rescue a dog. She opted for a shih zu and began looking for rescues in Michigan and that’s where Peke-A-Tzu Rescue came in. She found the rescue just outside Grand Rapids and made a fatal mistake.
Well, it was either fatal or perfect: she clicked on Available Dogs.
I think she wanted an idea of what type of dogs were at the rescue. What types of handicaps are common? What’s the average age? Are there many shih tzu’s or is it mostly Pekinese?
It was then she came across this face.
The photo Peke-A-Tzu Rescue posted of Jules under “Available Dogs”
Not knowing what to do about the eight-year-old little retired breeder, I remember my mom asking us if we should wait or if we should apply for her now. The consensus was basically do what you want. I told her if she waits, there’s a strong chance Juliana wouldn’t be there (for the record, waiting meant wait until Jackson passes which didn’t happen until 2013). The lengthy and intrusive application along with our three references were submitted and two weeks later, my parents and I were driving to the Grand Rapids area to pick up our new 12 pound baby girl.
Kitty was furious and Jackson held a stance that can only be described as, “Seriously?” Jackson never warmed up to Juliana, who I only ever called Jules after the first two years we had her, and Kitty became her best friend.
The first year proved a bit difficult at times. She didn’t like boys. I think it stemmed from her time in a puppy mill. My dad being the patient man he is spent that first year feeding her small bits of ham and Cheetos to get her to warm up to him. He reached girl-status eventually but my brother was forever a stinking boy. When we first brought her home, we thought she couldn’t bark. She was quiet, most likely from her being in a new place and trying to get a feel for it. When my brother came home from work one day and was kneeling by the front door to pet Kitty, we heard a strange noise. It sounded like a bourbon-drinking chain smoker had just tried to shout at the kids crossing their lawn.
It was Jules. Her bark was like an old lady that spent too much time with a cigarette in her mouth and drank whiskey like it was water. She may have looked cute but she was protective and she never stopped barking or huffing at my brother. She always made her displeasure of his presence known.
She became my shadow. At first, it was her fear of abandonment. You couldn’t let her outside to let her do her business because she would stand at the back door and cry thinking she was being left for good. She didn’t like waking up in an empty room and would promptly go in search for the nearest human and we couldn’t bring her to apple orchards because the animal’s cages sent her into a frenzy of panting, pushing, crying and clutching. She had spent so much time in a cage that the sight of one scared her.
The years that followed were nothing short of amusing, loving and above all amazing. She slowly lost her vision but didn’t care because she had memorized the house. Every time she ran into a wall, she’d bounce back and huff at it as if it were the wall’s fault for being there. She kept prancing the way only a shih tzu can. She snuggled the way only a rescue knows how.
On a night of extreme strength or weakness, I’m not really sure which it was, I sent my mom an email telling her it was time to let go of Jules. I sent the email because anytime my parents would bring up how Jules was in bad shape I would lose control of myself. Whenever you’re threatened with loosing your rock you have uncontrollable reactions.
Bringing her to the vet’s office was one of the worst car rides of my life because I knew I wouldn’t be bringing her back with me. What was worse? Standing in the small room and holding onto her for dear life as they gave her something to relax. Even worse? Jules gave me a few last kisses which was something she rarely did. She comforted me when I felt I should have comforted her. I held on as long I as could and when I had to lay her down in her last moments, I felt like I couldn’t breath.
Taken during a quick nap before class, Spring 2013.
After, I was given a moment with her by myself and the hardest part was walking out of the room. Looking back, I don’t think it was because I was leaving without her but because I was leaving her alone. It was her greatest fear and all I could think to do was leave the door cracked open as I walked out so she wouldn’t feel confined.
It was weird walking up to my room that night without her. It felt empty in my bed that night and every night since. I’ve felt like I’ve been skipping part of my morning routine because I’m not taking her out and getting her set for the day. Most of all, it feels wrong talking about her in the past tense.
It’s not wrong to be so effected by losing your pet. It’s like losing a family member; you don’t get over it but you learn to live with it.
Taking in a rescue dog is the greatest decision a person could ever make. Sure, the time you get with your pet is shorter but the six years I had with Jules could never be traded.
My dad put it best; she wasn’t my dog, I was her human.
This slideshow requires JavaScript.
For more information on adoption please visit Aspca.com or to donate please visit the ASPCA’s donation page.
ejridener 